Velbert underground

Things have been a bit hectic here at TBIR Towers recently.  Real work (gasp!) has sort of intruded on the mirth and mayhem that goes with reporting from around the world.  So by the time you read this I am sure you will already be familiar with the fact that SSVg Velbert lost at home to SC Verl in the Regionaliga West last Friday night.  After all, the game is hardly off Sky Sports news, and ESPN’s extended highlights are dragging a bit too now.

Well that’s lost half of my usual 10 readers, so for you other 5 who obviously live on Mars (or in Azerbaijan  “Yenə Hello – I gün tutmaq əla ümid edirik. Mən dəniz Bass özümü bir az sevgi”) I will aim to describe events from last week in as few words as possible, painting a picture instead of life in the German non leagues.  To organise such a complex trip you need to call on the German non league footballing equivalent of the A-Team.  Danny Last, Kenny Legg and Michael Stoffl.  In true A-Team style, Danny is “Bad Attitude” Baracus due to his loathing of flying and his love of a glass of milk before bedtime, Kenny is “The Face”, a man who can get a waitresses attention in the blink of an eye, and Stoffers is just Stoffers.

Kenny is obviously famed for his award-nominated blog, Adventures in Tin Pot but has recently relocated to Germany.  We are bound by the official secrets act as to the exact nature of his job but we understand he came within an inch of being in THAT scene from the Olympic Opening Ceremony when Daniel Craig was umming and aarring about his dislike for corgis.  A new habitat hasn’t stopped Kenny’s eye for a non league ground or some club-endorsed slippers, and so he ha cunningly rebranded in true Marathon/Snickers style to “Das Adventures in TinPot” (just click on the link at start of the paragraph, the PR team haven’t quite finished the rebranding work). Continue reading