It seems like an eternity since I saw Dartford lift the Blue Square Bet South Play Off final trophy back in May. In fact it is only 6 weeks ago, but that was my last game of football. Game number 104 of the 2011/12 season. Since then I have tried to amuse myself with cricket, Rugby (league and union), motor racing. Damn, we even went to Harry Potter World. But here at last was a game – the 105th and final game of the 2011/12 season. There has to be a start and end date for each season and to us it is the 1st July. So goodbye this season and hello next in just 14 days when we travel to Enfield Town to watch the mighty Rooks take on Fisher for the Supporters Direct Shield.
But back to the present. I am not saying I was desperate for a game but I had traveled 3,461 to North America for this one. My destination? The Garden State, home of Jersey Shore, the programme that spawned us The Only Way is Essex, Geordie Shore and all of those other shit shows that the only contribution they have made to the world is encouraging young girls to stick fake diamonds around their twat. Oh, sorry, I forgot. Twat is a very rude word here in America. I have been warned before not to say or especially write the word Twat. Apparently it can really cause offense. So I wont say Twat anymore. Ironically I can say Fanny, as that just means arse over here and, not as Keith from the Office once said, “your minge”.
Yes, you have guessed it (of course you did), we were heading for New Jersey, home of such stars as Count Basie, Frank Sinatra, Jon Bon Jovi and Whitney Houston. All of these are of course now dead (well in JBJ’s case he is wheeled onto the stage every so often and plugged into the mains) but all contributed massively to the musical history of the USA. Continue reading