The principles of cause and effect

“Ladies love me, girls adore me.  I mean even the ones who never saw me
Like the way that I rhyme at a show.  The reason why, man, I don’t know.
So let’s go, ’cause…..”

This was going to be the best day ever.  Well, certainly since I last got the opportunity to go to two  new grounds in one day that is for sure.  Such avenues of pleasure are rarely open these days in England and normally we have to head on over to visit Uncle Kenny in Düsseldorf to take in such treats.  But here I was soaking up the rays at our third game of the day, Yep.  Three had become two due to that old fellow call Casuality.  Not one, nor two but three.  As Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock once said, “It Takes Two…plus one”

Let’s remind to 11am.  Our first venue?  Why Tolworth of course.  I mean, where else would anyone want to me on a Saturday morning.  Tolworth, the land of dreams.  Known as Talerode (toll road) in the Doomsday Book, it was here that David Bowie back in 1973 smudged his face makeup and ended up looking like ” a spider from Mars”, giving birth to his whole Ziggy Stardust phase.  Its most famous resident though is Alan Wheatley, the first ever person killed by a Dalek on TV.  Alan is available for birthday’s. weddings and corporate events where he re-enacts his demise to popular songs of the time.

9327436675_9320f39f71_bHowever, I had no time for cultural recreation.  I had a deadline to meet.  11am, to be precise when the annual Geoff Harvey Memorial Trophy was due to kick off, featuring the number one sporting team in Tolworth, Corinthian-Casuals, taking on local rivals Kingstonian.  Where do you start with the Pink and Chocolates?  Well, how about back in 1939 when a merger between Corinthian FC and Casuals FC.  The former started life in 1882, with a mission to be able to challenge the supremacy of the Scotland National Team.  I’m sure that today they would probably achieve their aim.

Corinthian rightly deserve their place in the history of football, being mentioned with honours in David Hartrick’s excellent book 50 Teams That Mattered.  Few teams from the amateur period can match their influence.  Real Madrid, so taken with their ethics (and tasty scones they took on tour to Spain), adopted the white shirts they still wear today.  A team in Brazil went one further, adopting their name and still proudly using that name today.  They even beat Manchester United once 11-3, but didn’t brag about it in the Sunday tabloids.  Instead they all went home on the Omnibus and had a nice cup of tea. Continue reading


When East meets West

Ever since the Isthmian League eventually got around to publishing the fixtures for the season everyone had been looking forward to this one.  Technically this was Lewes’s local derby.  The Dripping Pan to Horsham’s Goring Mead ground was less than a third of a mile shorter than their traditional rivalry with Hastings United and their Pilot Field ground.

An added bonus was the game scheduled for Bank Holiday Monday.  A day just made for football.  And beer. And with Horsham starting off like a train, scoring goals for fun, this was going to be a test for the Rooks.

Now here is a fact that I believe is true.  Despite asking all and sundry nobody can give me a definitive answer.  So if I am wrong, please correct me.  Here goes.

Horsham had two football grounds, which were the closest located in the Football pyramid in the whole of Great Britain.  There – I step back in awe of the amazement in your eyes.  Yes, we all know that the two Dundee teams are located on the same road, and the two teams in Nottingham are separated by the River Trent.  There is also the strange situation with Northwich Victoria and Witton Albion, who built almost identical new grounds less than 250 yards apart, and today we have the grounds at Bedford and Totton. But these grounds were the closest of the lot. Alas the original Horsham ground is no more, consigned to the history books and a car park for a set of flats today.

Three seasons ago Horsham FC were in a bit of a financial pickle so agreed to groundshare over the back fence with Horsham YMCA who at the time were in the Ryman League South.  Whilst the long-term plans are still to build a ground of their own, average attendances in the Ryman Premier of 260 mean there seems little financial sense to move, and of course they can groundshare not only with YMCA but also with the Horsham Organ society. Continue reading