Bugger Bognor


I cannot read or say the words Bognor Regis with a small titter sneaking out of my mouth. You see I was a seventies child, raised on TV shows such as Dads Army, On the Buses and of course Are You Being Served? Even today I can think of no better way to relax in the evenings than a large glass of Chateauneuf du Pape and slipping on a DVD of the crazy antics of Grace Brothers. After all, who wouldn’t want to hear tales of Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy late at night? The TV show has been featured in the news briefly this week as the actor Frank Thornton, who played the role of Captain Peacock, had passed away, meaning that the whole of the original cast were no longer with us.

img41156a0e3e6a4The series ran for years, including a film in 1977 supposedly set in Spain, and featuring Andrew Sachs as a clueless Spanish hotel employee – as if that sort of character would ever work! Anyway, back on topic, the reason I laugh is because of a line in the film where Mr.Grainger needs to use the toilet on the airplane and its suggested he does it over Bognor to gain revenge for a holiday ruined by the British weather when he was younger. Little things please little minds, as Katie Price would undoubtedly say.

So Bank Holiday Monday and the second Sussex derby in 48 hours. Unfortunately Saturday’s defeat against Hastings United had seen a big black cloud descend on the Dripping Pan.  We needed a big boost, something akin to what the first meeting of the Rooks and the Rocks delivered at Christmas.  The game on Boxing Day at The Pan, played in God-awful conditions the like of which we haven’t seen for at least a week saw The Rooks take all 3 points. Since then, wins have been scarce but this was all about the bragging rights between East and West Sussex. The game in December had attracted a Ryman Premier League high of 883 fans, although few who were there will remember much more than the incessant rain and the bonkers away fans who stood on the open Jungle cheering their team on. Three months later and the weather has hardly changed. Snow had fallen virtually every day in March so the 1 April would be a perfect day for a visit to the seaside, and what better place that Bognor, a town that was awarded its “Regis” (by appointment to the King) in 1929 although many commentators believe his reaction to the suggestion by an aid was to say “Bugger Bognor”.

bus_bristol_green_crosvilleTaking the British 70’s Sitcom to another level, the Lewes fans would be making their way along the A27 on Clive’s, one of the club’s directors, old bus.  Not that Clive is a modern day Stan Butler (secretly I think he wants to be a Blakey), but what better way to travel to the seaside than on an old-fashion Charabang!  Bottles of Milk Stout were loaded on board with tongue sandwiches all round for the trip westwards.  Who wouldn’t want to travel in style?  Well, Danny Last and I for ones but that is because we had another agenda. Continue reading

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