20th March 2024 – The Fenix Trophy – Røa Kunstgress, Oslo, Norway

If you think trying to organise a game away in Europe, I’m happy to share a piece of valuable advice for free.  Don’t.  Stop dreaming about expanding your cultural horizons, the thrill of overseas travel and the chance to try new snacks. It is as stressful as organising a child’s birthday party, whilst moving house and having a tooth extracted at the same time.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and the morning after the game, when the squad are all onboard the flight home you can finally relax and pick up the pieces.  There will be “feedback” and the inevitable “debrief” which will focus on the small, minor quibbles hopefully rather than having to face the consequences of an international issue.  But there is also a huge sense of achievement in doing it and even a single “well done” or a “thank you” makes you beam inside.

So, Fenix Trophy match day 4 for Lewes was to be away in Oslo.  After the win last month at home to KSK Beveren our qualification for the finals in Italy in May had been assured so in effect this was a dead rubber.  But we still wanted to win, and with around 50 fans making the journey to the Norwegian capital, still very much in what we would call “deepest winter”, but in reality for the Norwegians would be classed as mild.

The snow, or threat of it, was a constant issue we had to face in terms of where the game could be held.  FC Oslo’s normal ground was ruled out and there was even talk of it being held indoors, but finally they found a venue, albeit one a long way out of the centre, in a very smart housing area.  Having sorted out flights, hotels, food, transport and even some amusement for the squad, I then had to deal with last minute withdrawals from the squad, and a new signing added to the travelling party 20 hours before departure. 

I didn’t travel with the squad which had its advantages and disadvantages.  Naturally, I didn’t feel responsible for trying to stop the drinking games, the japes and the ire of the Ryanair cabin crew, but on the flip side at 11pm back in the UK I was getting messages asking me to sort the heating (too hot) in one of the player’s rooms, or that another wasn’t on the room booking list (he was but the pronunciation of his name wasn’t clear to a Norwegian hotel receptionists ear).

Instead, I flew on the day of the game from Gatwick to Oslo, with a small band of other Rooks fans whose second mortgage could only afford them one night’s drinking in the city centre.  The squad had a few hours free and with virtually every one of them on their first visit to Norway, let alone Oslo, they took the advantage to immerse themselves in the local culture, having lunch in McDonalds, shopping in Boss and Armani and grabbing a coffee in Starbucks.  Despite his best efforts, our senior player Chris Whelpdale didn’t get any takers to accompany him on a Fjord cruise.  “Bit like the Woolwich Ferry, but colder” was one excuse.

I met the squad and management at the Ullevaal Stadion, home of the National side in a box provided by our hosts for them to have a pre-match meal and relax.  I think they’d been there too long as when I arrived they were discussing such cerebral questions such as:

“Would you rather have feet for hands or hands for feet?”

“Would you rather fight a chicken-sized dinosaur or a dinosaur-sized chicken”, or my personal favourite,

“Would you rather have the wisdom of Tony Russell or the wit of Ryan Gondoh”

Fortunately, the coach arrived to take us to the ground, somewhere in the middle of nowhere.  We arrived two hours before kick-off at a typical Norwegian community facility. A main 3G pitch with a small covered stand.  The pitch had been swept of snow, a huge mound of it, peppered by rubber crumb from the 3G and was being used by numerous local teams.  And that was it.  We were promised a small cafe would be open for coffee and waffles, but anyone wanting a beer had to buy them from the supermarket on the road from the station.

The stand slowly filled with Lewes fans, as the temperature dropped.  The piles of snow on the side of the pitch acted as makeshift fridges for the beer – never question the intuitiveness of a thirsty football fan.  The teams sauntered onto the pitch, posed for photos and we were off, on a strict time deadline before the floodlights had to be turned off at 10:15 so as not to upset the neighbours.

The game followed a similar pattern to most recent Lewes games.  All the possession, little in the way of putting the keeper under pressure and then out of the blue being punished by a defensive mistake.  The Rooks had a couple of early shouts for penalties, forced a few corners but the rookie FC Oslo keeper was never really tested.

Five minutes after the break a poorly hit back pass to Rooks keeper Nathan Harvey was intercepted by Noah Skar-Lentze and he slotted home.  The lead lasted 8 minutes before Keiran Murtagh reacted quickest after the competition’s top scorer, Kalvin Lumbombo-Kalala’s shot was only parried away.

Some late Lewes pressure saw them come close, but it was not to be.  Our group adventure came to an end with a draw and an unbeaten record.  The fans were invited onto the pitch to get a picture with the squad, prompting goalkeeping coach and “nominally” listed sub keeper, Charlie, to done his full kit, including gloves to record the moment for posterity.

We came together in a huddle post-match, but any words of wisdom were short-lived as the lights went out.  The players hurriedly got changed, aware that the clock was ticking on closing time.  They’d done us fans proud and deserved a beer, albeit one that would cost them an arm and a leg.  Their 10am flight back to London didn’t look so appealing now.