Who wants to win the cup anyway?

Saturday’s horrific home defeat to Cheltenham was a mortal blow for Dagenham & Redbridge as well as their fans.  However, like falling off a bike it is best to get straight back on it, and so our very own Brian Parish focused on the distraction of an Essex Senior Cup game against a team three levels below the Daggers.  Surely nothing could go wrong?  Could it?

Whilst Saturday will take some time to get over, thankfully, we have another game to play almost straight away. That though is not to lessen the challenge we face tonight. While Canvey Island may be a few divisions below us, we know precisely how difficult it can be to get a result here, having visited on more than one occasion in the conference, and prior to that, in the Isthmian League.

Although it is just the Essex Senior Cup, this is a chance for some who have experienced the non-league days, to re-visit those memorable days gone by. A chance to go to places that we have yet to visit, or even just the chance to “change ends” at half time is generally a good enough reason to turn up for these games. Plus in a season that is going from bad to worse, we’ll take anything that is going our way. And as it’s been ten years since we actually won the county cup, if we can get to the final, we’ll certainly take it.

For the first few years of the twenty-first century, Canvey Island and Grays Athletic were leading the way from Essex, and both looked set fair for a long stay in the top flight of non-league football. Grays even went as far as to reach the conference play offs, but ultimately, both clubs fell from the conference. Grays were relegated a couple of years ago, sold off their ground, and are currently ground sharing with East Thurrock United. Continue reading

Twenty one days of pain and frustration

Twenty one days ago the sun was shining. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky as Lewes kicked off against Canvey Island. Twenty four hours later I landed in Los Angeles to temperatures that would have had The Sun trumpeting as “Phew, what a scorcher” and “It’s hotter than Greece”. During the next week I worked with the sun shining all day, with my walk to the office along the empty beach in Santa Monica. Bliss, you may say and I would agree. Yet you mortals back in England were suffering freezing temperatures and tonnes of the white stuff. And of course that mean a serious lack of football.

Being purely selfish I was glad when the whole country called off their games the following weekend. Lewes’s game at Wingate & Finchley was postponed whilst I travelled east from California to New York. I cheered. Wingate is one of only two grounds I haven’t been to in the league so a re-arranged midweek fixture suited me perfectly. Seven days later and I was back in the UK but the after effects of the coldest February on record in many places in England again decimated the fixture list (and our plans for a game). What did this mean? Well, on the positive side, Lewes had gone unbeaten during February. On the pessimistic side, it would mean their last league win was 7 weeks ago when they beat Hastings United. Continue reading

No Dr Feelgood factor for Lewes

“”You have to have the rain before you can have the rainbow”

In just 24 hours I would be walking along Santa Monica Pier in SoCal as us surfers know it, the sunshine on my face and the sand between my toes.  You can’t beat a bit of winter sunshine to recharge the batteries after Christmas.  And as if I needed any more incentive to go I had the promise of a date with the not too shabby Natalia Velez to look forward to.

But first I had a date with one of Essex’s finest – Canvey Island who were visiting the Dripping Pan for an early doors game against The Rooks.  Early doors because of Brighton’s cup game versus Newcastle United just down the road at 5.15pm.  Thanks to the Ryman League seeing sense, and the Essex side happy to leave Lakeside an hour earlier than normal, Lewes stood a chance of a decent crowd.  We littered the Toon websites, forums and Twitter feeds with invites and promises of pints of Dog, Jimmy Nail look-a-likes and Lewes wearing a special one-off black and white striped shirt just for the day.  Not strictly true but  would they really notice after tucking into a few pints of Harveys?

Our cause had been helped no end by the efforts of the Guardian’s sports team who plugged the game via their Fiver email, eulogising that :-

“At this quaint little ground, you’ll be allowed to stand up, smoke your gills out, watch entertaining Brazil-circa-1970 style football, eat delicious modestly priced organic burgers and lorry back refreshing pints of the local brew Harveys all at the same time”

Thanks to some opportunist sales techniques that would have shamed a time-share salesperson in the Canary Islands I had managed to convince The Guardian’s Barry Glendenning as an owner a few weeks ago.  Yes, he had been worse for wear; Yes, he was distracted by Sarah Hot Scores and yes I may have told him that by being an owner he was entitled to certain perks that weren’t strictly true, but Pressganging is not illegal (I think) in the 21st century.  One man’s Richard Branson is another man’s Asil Nadir. Barry was making his first visit to the Pan and we were determined to make his visit a special one.  After all, since he thrust the £30 in my top pocket back in December, “our” team had won three, drawn four and lost four as well as seeing the manager depart.  Investments can go up and well as down as I reminded him when he asked for a refund.

Canvey Island, the Gulls, the pride of Park Lane.  Lewes had already beaten the Islanders earlier in the season and what they could do with a moral boosting win today.  Performances had been good, but a lack of goals was becoming a real worry.  Five goals in the last six wasn’t a fair return for the effort, but add on the fact that three had come from penalties and you see the issue.  Last Saturday the team lost 5-1 at Margate.  Lewes shots 8, Margate shots 8.  On Wednesday night the woodwork and a bobble in the six yards area stopped two certain goals.  Today there was to be no excuse.  It was win or bust….well not exactly that traumatic but we are hyping this up for the Guardian remember?

This was my third trip to Lewes in just four days after the Sussex Senior Cup match on Wednesday and then the Fans Forum on Thursday where we had batted away all questions fired at us from the fans.  Now was the time for us to live up to our promise of Barcelona-esque football.

Lewes 1 Canvey Island 2 – The Dripping Pan – Saturday 28th January 2012
“You will win nothing with kids” One of the most famous understatements uttered by a pundit.  Alan Hansen may have had to eat his words back when Sir Alex Ferguson blooded the likes of Scholes, Beckham and Giggs at Villa Park in August 1995, but since then how right he has been.  Lewes today were forced to field a very young team as injuries ravaged Simon Wormull’s squad.  The manager himself was even forced to play himself for the final thirty minutes, turning back the years with some of his visionary passing.

I can only imagine the mood in the Wormull house when the sick notes arrived this morning.  Kamara – hip injury.  Robinson – hamstring.  Hamilton – foot.  Hustwick – neck strain.  These four are the Lewes back four. Any club would struggle to cope with such a situation.  A major reshuffle saw Charlie Leech and Josh Phillips in the starting line up as well as new signing Jack Walder in the centre of midfield.

One good bit of news was that the Rooks had ditched the white shorts – going down the full Rosseneri look of red and black – Canvey opting for Crystal Palace away circa 1989.  It was the yellows who started the stronger of the two and thankfully keeper Rikki Banks was in good form.  With Lewes’s recent goals coming from the boot of Paul Booth it didn’t take a brave man (me) to predict he would be the first goalscorer, although Eddie Fremantle refused to take my tenner, reminding me that as a Director I was not able to place a bet on my team.  Sure enough, a minute later Paul Booth rose and headed home a Nanetti cross to put the Rooks one nil up.

The second half saw Canvey well on top and it was no surprise when Jason Hallett scored in the 51st minute.  We weren’t used to conceding a goal before the 90th minute so the crowd were stunned into silence.  Everyone was confused.  What to do?  Well, how about the player/manager bringing himself on…Wormull stripped off and within a minute had played a trademark cross field pass to Nanetti. Every touch was greeted with a cheer.  Could he win us the game and roll back the years?

Alas no.  Canvey got stronger as the game wore on and with twenty minutes to go Bradley Woods-Garness smacked a loose ball home to give the Essexmen the three points.  The thirty or so Canvey fans went home happy, having enjoyed their day out in the sunshine whilst the Rooks fans had to scratch their heads wondering what the team had to do to get that break and three points.

With the rain out of the way it was time to prepare for the Rainbow.  Natalia Velez was sure to ask about the result.  Don’t worry – I will take this one for the team.  Until I return I bid you a fond farewell.

Last Minute .com again

After the cup exploits last week against AFC Sudbury, it was back to earth with a very big bang, complete with a “Kiss Me Quick Hat” on Saturday as five second half goals sunk the Rooks at Margate.  The journey back from a day out at the seaside on a normal trip is depressing enough, but one in the middle of January when you have been spanked 5-1 is possibly up there with a trip to the dentist or one of those “can we have a quick word in the cubicle” conversations with customs at the airport.

However, all was not lost.  The Rooks had to chance to show their “bouncebackability” with another home cup tie.  And not just any old cup tie.  One against Eastbourne Borough, sworn enemies, deadly rivals and pretenders to the title “Best Non League team in Sussex”.

The Sussex Senior Cup is a strange competition.  The bigger clubs (i.e Crawley Town and Brighton & Hove Albion) rarely take it seriously, yet every year it is the same story.  The former seem to be eliminated early, the latter in for the duration despite fielding essentially a reserve team.  Last season Lewes lost in the quarter finals at home to Brighton & Hove Albion, thus denying themselves the chance to reach the final, which was played at The Amex.  This year, wins over Wick and East Grinstead had sent up a mouth-watering tie with Eastbourne Borough.  The winners would join Crawley Down, Whitehawk and the winner of the BHA v Bognor Regis Town game in the draw for the semi-final. Continue reading

Duffed up

It is rare that I go to a game and do not whip out my camera or my phone to record the action but yesterday as the referee blew the final whistle at The Dripping Pan I realised that I hadn’t taken one picture.  Not that there wasn’t any action on the pitch, but I had a guest with me.  Football Jo.

For those of you who are new to The Ball is Round you will have never come across Football Jo.  A few years ago she used to accompany me around the world to watch football.  But then she decided she really did need a boyfriend.  In the past she had a “love my football and love me” motto.  She has her own house, own car, own extensive porn collection and own teeth.  But some men couldn’t hack her commitment to the beautiful game.  So she compromised and stopped coming to strange overseas locations to watch bizarre games.  But it didn’t last and she rang me two weeks ago asking when she could come down to Lewes.  She was single again and thus she wanted to get back into football.  And what better place than The Dripping Pan.

Today’s visitors were Kingstonain, complete with Martin Tyler as their assistant manager.  Yep, THAT Martin Tyler.  One can only speculate if he commentated on the game from the bench in the same style he does for Sky Sports. Continue reading