Many of people may have seen the Lafferty incident on Saturday where he feigned injury to get a fellow professional sent off….But is it the best one? My entry into the “worst simulation to get someone sent off” award goes to……..
Norbert Meier – Click here to see why.
So which one is best? Vote below to see who wins the award..
So where is the home of English Sport? Is it Wembley? Twickenham? Some might say Wimbledon, whereas more traditionalists who like their sport laid back may say Lords. Everyone will have a view but to me it is Wembley Stadium. However, I was prepared to give another venue a go and a rare opportunity arose to see a game at two “homes” of English sport in one afternoon. And withsuch a momentous occasion it would be rude to travel alone – step forward Mr Last who had obviously also won a heat of Husband of the Year and been given a multi-coloured pass for the day.
CMFhad been away with her chums for a week in Menorca andI had done a sterling job on children duty, packing inappropriate food in their lunch boxes (what is wrong with Chicken Tikka Masala sandwiches), making sure they told their teachers they stayed up to midnight (it was 9 o’clock but they don’t need to know that) andgenerally doing all the things kids like to do but never get away with it. A cheeky bunch of flowers on her arrival at Gatwick went down very well and so I slipped in the comment about being out all day and why not take the kids to Chessington. And the response? “Absolutely no problem – would you like me to make some sandwiches for you? You have been such an angel you deserve it” What was she planning? We will see.
So the plan was to meet Mr Last, hot foot it up to Lords for the first innings of Middlesex versus Somerset in the “Friends Provident not quite as exciting as Twenty20 Trophy” and then onto Wemberlee for the Blue Square Conference Play Off Final – a titanic fight for a place in the Football League between the Yellows of Cambridge United, and er the Yellows of Torquay United. After Burton Albion stumbled, fell, got up, got hit by a train, crawled along andfinally spluttered over the finishing line in first place, the secondpromotion spot had been eagerly fought with all four teams in the play off spots separated by just five points at the end of the regular season.
The second pomotion place was introduced in 2003 as an end of season play off. Since its inception the teams who have ended up being promoted in this way have actually faired better in the Football League than the Conference winners. In 2003 Doncaster Rovers beat Dagenham & Redbridge on the golden goal and have since hit the heady heights of the top half of the Championship. The following year Shrewsbury Town won back their League place andwill hope for similar luck next weekend when they face Gillingham for a place in League One. In 2005 Carlisle United beat Stevenage Borough andhave since climbed the League One table after promotion in 2007. May 2006 winners were Hereford United who were also promoted to League One, although they fell back down last month. Morecambe beat Exeter City 2-1 in 2007 and actually remain the only club to have won the play offs and not been promoted as the beaten finalists the Grecians came back last year and beat Cambridge United andfollowed this up with promotion this year on the last day of the season. In the same period all bar one of the Conference winners have failed to progress at all (Yeovil Town being the exception who almost made the Championship last season) whilst Chester City have again returned to the non-leagues after relegation for the third time from Division Two.
So omens are good for the winners although on the negative side every final had been decided by one goal or penalties meaning a tight and nervous ninety (or longer!) minutes. Last season Cambridge United and Exeter City played out a tense game in front of 42,500 at Wembley witha single Rob Edwards goal in the first half enough to decide the game for the team from Devon. This time around we expected much more of an open game as only three points separated the teams after 46 games. Cambridge had the meanest defence in the league, conceding 41 goals whilst Torquayhad one of the best attacking records with 72 goals. I had my hat on Torquay, only for the simple reason of being Luge, my man in New York’s, eyes and ears at the stadium – it is not many people who can claim to know a Torquay fan (and seeing Helen Chamberlain on the TV doesn’t count!).
So is this such a big game for the winners? The health of the relative leagues is often overlooked in the media’s bias to the Premier League. Average attendances in Division Two were just over the 4,000 mark last season, boosted by cheap ticketing at places like Bradford who had an average attendance of nearly 13,000 (higher than every team bar three in League One and three teams in the Championship) and Luton who not only had a decent home average but consistently took over 1,500 to away games. In fact there were twelve teams in League Two whose average attendance was less than the top two in the Conference (Oxford United and Cambridge United).
The standard of the teams was not really different either with over a dozen teams in the Conference full time andthus offering facilities on a par with their league counterparts. Stadiums and facilities – check. Oxford’s Kassam, Wrexham’sRacecourse Ground, Mansfield’s Field Mill and Burton’s Pirelli Stadium are head and shoulders above the grounds owned by Accrington Stanley, Macclesfield Town, Barnet or Dagenham and Redbridge.
But before we could sample the media facilities for the first time at Wembley (thank you Keirina from the Football Conference for sorting that out for us) it was a brief trip to the “Home of cricket”, Lords for a quick innings of their tenants versus Somerset. A common schoolboy error is the assumption that Middlesex CCC actually own Lords. They don’t – it is owned by the Marylebone Cricket Club aka the MCCwho rent the ground out. In theory as the ancient county of Middlesexdoesn’t exist apart from being a postal address they could put the ground up for auction to the likes of Kent or Surrey (don’t get me started on the whole Surrey and Oval thing – it’s in London for christ sake!) and banish Middlesex. However that is unlikely to happen anytime soon as the relationship between the two is very good. Middlesexby the nature of having such a marvellous ground are seen as the grown up team in English cricket, always playing by the rules and never really taking that teenage risk. Until last season that is.
At the start of the 2008 Twenty20 season, now disgraced multi billionaire Sir Allen Stanford announced he would be creating a world series of Twenty20 cricket culminating in a Champions Cup where the English Twenty20 winners would play their counterparts from the West Indies in a huge winner takes all game. His long term plan was to create a “Champions League” of Twenty20 cricket with the winners from the respective tournaments around the world all competing for a huge cash pot in his native West Indies. However, he was beaten to the line on the latter as the World Series of Twenty20 was announced for December with the winners and runners up of our domestic tournament going to India to play.
So withan added bonus the English season took shape with defending Champions Kent, again setting the benchmark. On the finals day down at the Rose Bowl they brushed aside the Essex Eagles and met the MiddlesexCrusaders in the final who had demolished the Durham Dynamos. With their distinctive pink shirts lighting up the Hampshire sky, Middlesex held their nerve in a gripping final to win by 3 runs and thus claim entry into the two money spinning tournaments. Kent on the other handwere left with nothing. Because their team included two players who had played in the (then) rebel Indian Premier League they were not invited to take part in th e World Series.
Middlesex never got the chance to pit their wits against the world’s best. Security concerns after the terror attacks in Mumbai meant the tournament was cancelled, and in the Stanford Champions Trophy a village green pitch hardly helped the team as they lost to Trinidad and Tobago.
So hope springed eternal that this season would be as good. They desperately needed a boost as they had dropped to the lower leagues of both the four day game and the one day variety, The Friends Provident Trophy was an early attempt at gaining some form to take into the league matches. So far Middlesex had had a mixed bag with three wins and three defeats from their six games. Visitors Somerset on the other handled the league with four wins from their five games so far and knew that a win would guarantee them a spot in the quarter finals.
Rain, rain, rain….what a way to start the day. I had arranged to meet Mr Last at Lords at 11am but it looked like we would not be seeing any play. The very kindly MCC Media manager had managed to sort me out a media pass for one of the best looking media facilities on the planet – “The Spaceship” which sits above the stands at Lords. As if by magic the rain stopped, the clouds parted and the bar opened meaning that we were going to get a few hours play as well as a couple of cheeky pints in.
Middlesex CCC 341-7 lost to Somerset CCC 293-5 on D/L method- Friends Provident Trophy – Lords – Sunday 17th May 2009
Fourteen year waiting list to sit here!
Lords really is the Home of Cricket. They have spent millions on the ground in recent years and not a penny has been spent out of place. It is truly a magnificent venue. This year they have installed the next generation of floodlights. Whilst they may look like they have been transported from Eastern Europe or Russia, they are extendable and can grow in a way that any teenage boy would know when he opens the Kays catalogue at the swimsuit page. The media centre sits at the east endof the ground with a perfect view of proceedings and withthe sun shining we looked forward to a couple of hours worth of cricket. Andwhat a place to watch a game from. The facilities there are as modern inside as the booking looks, with lots of curves and glass. I managed to blag Danny a pass as well so before play started we were tucking into the complementary refreshments in the company of very few other media chaps.
The crowd was very thin on the ground, with no more than a thousand brave souls in the stands. The pavillion had a few MCC members in as well. Now what I cannot understand is how there is a 14 year waiting list to be a member here when only a dozen or so actually bother to turn up.
Middlesex, sporting their fetching navy and pink kit had won the toss and decided to take advantage of the fast outfield. They started slowly and it took an early wicket when Godleman was run out for them to start accelerating as the controversialHughes (He is seen to be getting a competitive advantage for the Ashes by batting in the county game before he joins up with the tourists in July) and Owais Shah raising the run rate to over 5.5 an over with some aggressive batting andeasily passing the 100 partnership with a majestic four over mid off (eventually the two scored 119 and82 respectively in the huge 341 for 7 total). We left Lords with a smile on our faces anda spring in our step with Middlesex well on the way to a huge total as we made our way to Wemberlee.
A brisk walk, a nine minute train journey (stuff the tube, Marylebone to Wembley Stadium is by far the best way to travel to the ground) and we were inside the bosom of our newest national treasure munching down on pastrami rolls within half an hour.
Cambridge United 0 Torquay United 2 – Blue Square Play Off Final – Wembley Stadium – Sunday 17th May 2009
Promoted at last!
With only the lower and middle tiers open I thought the atmosphere would be muted but I was wrong. Cambridge fans dominated the stadium but the noise was equally as loud from the west country contingent. Our seats were in the media section which you would think would offer protection from the elements. Oh no. The rain continued to fall amongst the sunny spells and the wind simply blew it onto our laptops and TV screens. Good planning on that one!
Five minutes in and the Cambridge fans were bouncing on their feet, drowning out any sound from the Gulls fans at the other end. The first contentious issue was in the 7thminute when mask wearing Tim Sills appeared to lead with a forearm on Wayne Hatswell that had the Cambridge manager Brabin off the bench fuming, yet the referee saw nothing in the incident. Not so Wayne Carlisle though as the Gulls midfielder was booked a minute later for a clumsy foul on a Cambridge player.
The row between Sills and Hatswellcontinued with both of them picking up yellow cards in the first twenty minutes for less than friendly challenges on each other. In fact that was really the story of the first thirty minutes, petty challenges and a few openings for either side. Cambridge had a small shout for a penalty in the 23rd minute when a cross appeared to strike a Torquay arm but the referee was having none of it. Cambridge continued to look dangerous on the break and took a fine save from Poke in the Torquay goal to deny them an opening goal when he turned Robbie Willmott’s shot over in the 32nd minute.
All that counted for nothing two minutes later as Torquay long haired lover and captain Chris Hargreaves ran onto a knock down and powered a shot into the back of the Cambridge net to open the scoring. The goal brought Torquay out of their shell and some fantastic one touch passing in the 40th minute carved apart the Cambridge defence andalmost led to a second bar a last ditch tackle from Bolland with the keeper stranded.
A few months ago (April 1st actually) the Conference issued a press release saying that FIFA had sanctioned the use of squared, painted blue, in each corner instead of the traditional quarter circles in respect of the sponsors Blue Square. As this story was actually released after midday on the 1st April I can now officially confirm that the joke is on them for the rest of the year….Anyway back to the second half…
The pace after the break sped up and both teams abandoned any defensive strategies and broke on the break whenever they could. Hargreaves teed up Nicholson from twenty yards and he narrowly shot wide and seconds later a deflected Sills cross nearly doubled Torquay’s lead. Cambridge came right back at them and a Dan Gleeson effort nearly beat the Toquay keeper Poke at his near post.
This was turning out to be a cracker of a game, andneither team (or their respective fans) deserved to lose. It is hard to see the winner failing to buck the trend of success in the league based on the showing here at Wembley. apologies regular readers for the lack of action points but if I listed them all you would be reading for days such was the cut and thrust nature of the game. However, on sixty nine minutes Cambridge were reduced to ten men which was hard for their fans to swallow (get it?) when Bollandwas shown a second yellow for a silly push on Torquay’s diminutive Danny Stevens when he was basically running into the corner and no danger. The resulting free kick again tested the Cambridge defence to the limit.
Seventy four minutes gone and it was two nil as a Torquay counter attack down the right saw a perfect cross floated in and Sills rose unchallenged to effectively end the Cambridge battle. Torquaythrew on Lee Hodges with five minutes to go – not to be confused by the other Lee Hodges who had started his career at West Ham, playing in the same legendary youthteam as Ferdinand, Lampard and Stevenage’s Lee Boylan who was also a tricky winger and showed alot of promise in his younger years.
And so the Blue Square Conference season came to a close with Torquay United joining Burton Albion in the Football League. For me I had come to enjoy the intimacy of the league, far more enjoyable than the professional game in so many ways. It had also been a fantastic day so far, but I was not finished. I was off to the O2 Arena for the Blue Man Group Show and another freebie. The best laid plans and all that….We had agreed to meet at 7pm, the show started at 6.30pm and we were in the 2nd row. Not too embarrassing taking our seats half way though!
Lords, Wembley and the O2 all in one day, all free andall with the blessing of CMF – The Perfect Storm!
About Lords
Lord’s Cricket Ground is the home of English (and some say world) circket and is located in St John’s Wood, London. Named after its founder, Thomas Lord, it is owned by Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) and is the home of MiddlesexCounty Cricket Club, the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB), the European Cricket Council (ECC); and until August 2005, the International Cricket Council (ICC).
Lord’s today is not on its original site, being the third of three grounds that Lord established between 1787 and 1814. His first ground, now referred to as Lord’s Old Ground, was where Dorset Square now stands. His second ground, Lord’s Middle Ground, was used from 1811 to 1813 before being abandoned due to the construction through its outfield of the Regent’s Canal. The present Lord’s ground is about 250 yards north-west of the Middle Ground. Lord’s is home to the oldest sporting museum in the world.
Much of Lord’s Cricket Ground was rebuilt in the late 20thcentury. In 1987 the new Mound Stand, designed by Sir Michael Hopkins, was opened followed by the Grandstand (by Nicholas Grimshaw) in 1994. Most notably, the Media Centre (by Future Systems) was added in 1998-9 which won The Royal Institute of British Architects Stirling Prize for 1999.
The ground can currently hold up to 32,000 spectators. However, a major redevelopment has been proposed, which would increase capacity by another 10,000 as well as adding apartments andan ice rink. Over one hundred Test matches have been played at Lord’s, the first in 1884 when England defeated Australia by an innings and5 runs. Australia’s first win was in 1888 by 61 runs. Lord’s is also one of the planned venues for the 2012 Summer Olympics. The archery competition will take place in front of the Pavilion, with the archers positioned in front of the Allen Stand andthe targets placed in front of the Grand Stand.
How to get to Lords
The ground is located at the start of the Finchley Road which runs from Baker Street. The nearest tube station is St John’s Wood which is a 3 minute walk away to the east and is on the Jubilee Line. Buses 13, 82 and 113 run from Baker Street and it is only a 10 minute walk from there or Marylebone which is the nearest rail station.
Getting a ticket for Lords
Quite a difficult one to answer as it depends on the game. For general Middlesex county and Sunday League games you can pitch up and buy a ticket on the gate for £16. For Twenty20 games it is £20 and for internationals, well you should have applied months ago! Tickets for test matches against the likes of the Australians go on sale 6 months before the games andcost upwards of £70 per day. There are tickets to be had from touts aroundthe groundbut be warned the gate staff may not let you in – “it’s simply not cricket!”. More details can be found here.
It had to end at some point, and try as I might to to eek out every possible football match this season there was always going to come a point where there simply wasn’t any more games. I had planned for such weekends, filling in the gaps between the play offs, friendlies and European Under 21 Championships with Rugby League, Motor Racing and of course, cricket.
We are blessed with a great location for watching in South East London. We have six counties within an hour’s drive and within those at least three first class county venues, including The Oval, Lords and Beckenham. Now this is the thing about Cricket. Venues aren’t always where they seem. Beckenham is in London. It is five miles westish from us here and we are definitely in London. Yet it is a Kent ground. The Oval is just two miles from the Houses of Parliament but is in Surrey, and Lords, well don’t get me started on Middlesex.
Cricket is still a sport in turmoil. The success of the Twenty20 competition has completely devalued the rest of the season, and often sees world class cricketers battling it out in front of a few dozen supporters during the week. In order to make it more appealing to spectators they have adopted the coloured kits, squad numbers and other Americanisms in order to appeal to a new audience. Every year there seems to be a new competition name which is essentially the same as last years but with a new format which is designed to ensure the spectators are confused.
This year we have the Friends Provident Trophy. Essentially a 50 overs a side group based tournament where the top two progress after playing each other twice. Kent had become a one day specialist team over the past few seasons. They had won the Twenty20 Cup a couple of seasons ago, and had a decent run again last year. However, their form in the “longer” game had been poor in the past few seasons and they had dropped into the lower divisions for both the County Championship and the old Sunday League competition. So hope for a turn around wasn’t seen to be short term but the county had started well in the Friends Provident (the Carling Cup equivalent) with two wins from their first three games.
CMF had left me. Simply packed her bags, left me with the Little Fullers and gone. Disappearing off into the night at 3am without so much as a note explaining how to plait the girls hair. Ok – not strictly true – she had gone to Menorca with her chums, and being the perfect husband I waved her off with a few Euro’s, a new game for her DS and our little black books of smut. So I had the Little Fuller’s for a week. Day one was a school day and that was ticked off in text book fashion with all the washing, drying and ironing done. Day two and Swimming Lessons completed, girls dried and dressed. Littlest Fuller was going to one of her friends for the night so Lolly and I had planned a football fest. Unfortunately the traffic put pay to our planned trip to the FA Trophy Final at Wembley but we still went to the Liverpool game at Upton Park which is mentioned elsewhere.
Littlest Fuller eventually rolled in at 1pm on Sunday, and with the sun shining and all the chores done I decided that cricket was on the agenda, and so an hour later we were parking the car under one of the smaller oak trees in the St Lawrence Ground in Canterbury, one of the prettiest grounds in the country when the sun is shining. An ice cream for the two girls and a Shepherds Neame for me and we settled down to see if I could condense the rules of cricket into 30 second soundbites.
Lolly is just getting the rules of football under her belt. She still throws in the odd curve ball – “What happens if the attacker shoots, the ball hits the referee in the face and goes in the goal BUT the shot knocks the ref unconscious. Is it a goal and if so who awards it?” but I was opening myself up for some real pain here. Try explaining why a player is rubbing a ball on his trousers furiously, Try getting them to understand why someone would stand at Silly Mid Wicket, and why is it Silly and try explaining that bowling a maiden over has nothing to do with snogging.
Kent CCC 219-6 beat Warwickshire CCC 218 all out by 4 wickets – Friends Provident Trophy – Canterbury – Sunday 10th May 2009
St Lawrence Ground
It’s hard to concisely report on cricket as it is relatively predictable. One team will win by scoring more than the other – simple as that. How do you explain a wicket? The batsman missed the ball and it hits the stumps? Well we had missed the Warwickshire innings, during which they scored a disappointing 218 all out. Recalled England batsman Ian Bell lasted just 5 balls for the visitors and it was only the adventurous play of Troughton who scored 62 including 3 sixes and 6 fours that raised the interest levels.
Kent in reply raced to 117-2 in just 20 overs before wickets started to fall. The opener Denly fell 1 short of his fifty and Geriant Jones raised some cheers with a six but it was relatively pedestrian throughout the innings that eventually saw Kent win with nine overs to go.
But what about the crowd? Well what was surprising was the mix. Lots of older couples, with comfy chairs on the boundary, the Sunday papers and a nice picnic spread intermingled with young families. Many had headphones on, which I assumed was for the cricket but as I was in the shop when Chelsea opened the scoring in their game against Arsenal (it was being shown live on TV in there) there was an audible cheer from the crowd – even the Warwickshire player Woakes asked a member of the crowd what the Man Utd score was! Littlest Fuller couldn’t understand the whole game so simply went into her own word and started talking to ants, where as Lolly was her usual engrossed self.
As we left with the sun still shining I asked them if they wanted to come back next week when we found Mummy. A resounding “No!” from Littlest Fuller until I said we could have a picnic and she could bring her teddy bears (so easily bought) and Lolly said yes as long as she could wear her West Ham shirt….
About the St Lawrence Ground
Kent’s historic home has a capacity of 15,500 and has been home to Kent for over 160 years. It is the only first class ground in the UK that has a tree within its boundary – the Lime tree although the current version is only 6 foot tall after the original was destroyed by disease and storms. The ground has a number of two tier members only stands and low level open air seated terraces for general spectators. It is also one of the only grounds in the country where you can drive your car to the boundary and watch the game from your front seats.
How to get to the St Lawrence Ground
The ground is located on the south of Canterbury and is best reached by car. Follow the M2 coastbound and continue onto A2 for Canterbury and Dover. At the junction with the A2050 turn right at the end of the slip road and go over the A2. At the T-junction at the end of this road turn right and follow signs for Canterbury. At the roundabout where the pub is, take the 2nd exit into Old Dover Road. The ground is a mile down this road on the left. The nearest railway station is Canterbury East, served by trains from the Medway towns and London Victoria. It is a mile walk from here (turn right of station and follow ring road for five minutes and then turn right into Old Dover Road) or 5 minutes in a cab.
Getting a ticket for the St Lawrence Ground
Unless the game is an important knock out tournament game then tickets are sold on the gate on the Old Dover Road. They can also be bought online from the official website – http://www.kent-ccc.co.uk. Ticket prices vary per competition. For an FP or Pro40 game it is £15 for Adults and £8 for Concessions, £20 (£10) for Twenty20 games and £15 for league games. Parking costs £10 at the ground.
Have you ever got so far only to fall at the last possible moment? Well that is what the end of season Playoff’s are all about. It doesn’t matter what division you look at the end of season playoffs are on a knife edge. There is real fear in most games. The rules of fairness always favour the team that “just misses out” but who wants to see that? As a neutral you want to see the complete outsider win on the day and really upset the applecart.
Who didn’t laugh when Leeds United were tanked by Watford in May 2006 and then 12 months later were relegated (no disrespect to Leeds fans but everyone wants to see the big teams fail, as I should know), or when Crystal Palace came from the brink of relegation in 2005 to beat West Ham in Cardiff to secure a place in the Premier League.
In the lower divisions the rewards are just as rich. This season the Blue Square North and South have been even contested with the final top positions only decided on the last day of the season. I had already covered the race for the Blue Square South positions in my post from Hampton & Richmond v AFC Wimbledon which saw the former reach the Playoff final, and AFC gain automatic promotion. So it was time to turn my attention northwards to the goings on in the Blue Square North.
The title had been won by Tamworth on the last but one day of the season, and three of the four play off spots were already sorted prior to the ultimate day. A final win for Alfreton and Telford United saw them secure a play off spot and a double header against each other. AFC Telford United are arguably the biggest team in the league in terms of fan base and tradition. They actually rose out of the ashes of the original Telford United who were forced into liquidation in 2004 just months after reaching the FA Cup third round by Millwall and reaching the FA Trophy semi-final. Through the efforts of the supporters trust the club reformed as AFC Telford United and have since worked their way back up the non league pyramid, followed at times by thousands of fans.
So hands up who could place Alfreton on a map? CMF actually thought it was called Alfreston and she was actually born less than 30 minutes away. It turned out that this mythical place was from the song she used to listen to when she was a wee nipper (on a few searches on T’Internet this proved to be the song Galveston by Glen Campbell). Alfreton is located close to the M1 in the East Midlands and no more than a few miles from Mansfield. It was once an important mining community but today is more reliant on chocolate as Thornton’s major factory is located here.
So what of the football club? I have to say that until this season I have never heard of them or the “Impact Arena” where they play. The club have actually been playing in the Conference North since 2005, and for a long time during the following season actually led the table under the leadership of ex-Forest and Leicester City player Gary Mills (who subsequently left and last season led Tamworth to the title). Current manager Nicky Law, himself a local legend with Rotherham and Chesterfield has managed to build a team that has lifted the club to their highest ever league position.
The Impact Arena? Sounds like it should be in the same vein as the Reebok or the JJB? Well not quite. It is actually called North Street really, and the naming rights were concluded some point in the past – despite searching at length about the deal I could find no details nor who “Impact” were. (Subsequently I discovered that Impact Marketing & Design Ltd are owned by the club’s chairman Wayne Bradley and are based locally – good on you sir!)
Alfreton’s season had been underpinned by a potent strike force of Paul Clayton and Liam Hearn whos 47 goals not only drove the promotion drive but has resulted in a call up for the England C squad – an amazing achievement considering the likes of Graham Morrison, Lee Boylan, Richard Brodie and James Constable playing in the higher league and scoring goals for fun. They are in fact the only two non-Conference players in the sixteen man squad
I was to be joined on this jaunt into Derbyshire by Brother-in-Law Steve The Imp (He is a Lincoln fan and not a small devil) who was keen to sample some northern hospitality. It was a simple 45 minute drive across from Lincoln and we found the ground, just a short hop from the A38 and parked up without any issues. From outside the ground you could see the huge travelling contingent from Telford at the far end of the stadium, and despite there being 30 minutes before kick off they were in fine form. We took up a place behind the “home goal” although there was very few home fans around.
Alfreton Town 4 Telford United 3 – The Impact Arena – Sunday 3rd May 2009
Butler makes it 1-0
As the two teams took to the field we were suddenly surrounded by a large group of youngish fans who immediately broke into song. “Alfreton is full of twats, full of twats, full of twats, Alfretonis full of twats poor old Mansfield”…We were confused – why would the home fans be singing this? They followed it with “We’ve got hooligans, we’ve got hooligans, you aint”…A nice welcome. Telford won the toss and changed ends meaning a very warm welcome to the Telford keeper, referring to him as a YamYam (I had to latterly look this up as I was unaware what it actually meant).
The atmosphere created by this group of fans was impressive. I have no idea if they are regulars but they seemed to know a few songs. They didn’t have to wait long for something more to sing and shout about as former West Brom defender Tony Butler headed the home team ahead with a header from close range. The crowd went ballistic and with an old fashion surge we were pushed against the perimeter wall and found ourselves being hugged by complete strangers. 2-1 on aggregate soon became 2-2 and pandemonium as Anton Brown swivelled on the penalty spot and the ball rolled slowly past the Telford keeper and into the net. Everything went flying at that point and in the melee we managed to find a few £1 coins on the floor and a crushed mobile phone that Steve handed back to a guy behind us who seemed too far gone to care.
Telford looked down and out and it seemed there would only be one winner. That feeling lasted three minutes until Telford’s Danny Edwards turned the ball in from close range and then with the half time whistle approaching Danny Carey-Bertram equalised for the Bucks. At this point we had taken leave from our spot behind the goal, scared for our health not due to the lively fans (keep it up guys) but the horrible dog shit smell that seemed to permeate around us as well as the Swine Fever carriers next to us who liked nothing better in the first half that a gob or three on the floor every thirty seconds. Nice habit to get into in the current climate.
We headed to the snack bar and after a ten minute queue we were presented with an option of chips, chips with peas or chips in a butty (I assume we could have also peas or peas in a butty but they weren’t on offer) such had been the demand for traditional Alfreton fayre so far. We noticed the number of policemen rising in the stadium, obviously concerned with the noxious local smell and headed back to the around the goal to the open air seats for the second half.
Alfreton came out fired up with their task at hand, knowing that an early goal was essential. And that is exactly what happened as Paul Clayton scored from close range in the 49th minute. Again they could sense victory but again Telford came back at them and it was 3-3 in less than five minutes as Carl Rodgers finished smartly in Telford’s first attack of the half. The fans knew that the game was up and so they decided to turn their attention to some away fan baiting. In groups of five or six they wandered past us to the barriers separating the two sets of fans. This didn’t go unseen by the police who followed them around until it became so obvious what was happening. Fortunately the team weren’t distracted and with fifteen minutes to go they were fortunate to get a penalty which after a delay for another booking (taking it to seven in the game) was slotted away by Anthony Howell to make it 4-3.
So one goal was all that was seperating the home team for a place in the final but it was not to be. Steve Jagielka, brother of Everton’s Phil smashed a shot against the bar for Telford near the end but that was the last of the real action. We moved around the pitch to get a vantage point for the imminent pitch invasion on the final whistle but it failed to materialise. The Police smartly formed a line across the pitch including police dogs (so that is where the smell came from!) but the fans simply gave the players a huge round of applause and wandered off out of the ground.
Telford meanwhile headed off home to ready themselves for the final away to Gateshead on Friday. It had been a great game of football, and on the whole the home fans were a passionate bunch, although a few of them had obviously worn their copy of Green Street out thinking it was a training manual for football in the current climate but it was harmless stuff. Still, I don’t believe that anyone feels the way I do about you Alfreton!
About the Impact Arena
The Impact Arena is a typical non-league ground, made up of a mixture of small stands and terracing. It has been home to the club since 1959 when the club were formed. The ground is a real mixture of styles. There is seating on three sides for around 1,500 although most of it is uncovered and just a few rows of seats bolted onto the terraces. The ground is smartly painted red and surrounded by trees giving it a really nice rural feel when the sun is shining. The Reds Bar in the ground is very popular on matchdays.
The stadium was given its FA grade B licence earlier in the season meaning it is fit to host Conference football, although if their ambitions are for League football in the future significant work will need to be carried out.
How to get to the Impact Arena
Most fans will drive to Alfreton so from the M1 in either direction turn off at junction 28 onto the A38 towards Derby. Follow for 2 miles then take the slip road onto the B600. Turn right at main road towards the town centre. After ½ mile turn left into North Street. The Ground is 200 yards down on the right. There is a free car park at the ground.
The nearest train station is Alfreton which is a ten minute walk away and on the Euston train line. Come out of the station and turn right onto the Mansfield Road towards the town centre. Take the second left into Prospect Street. At the end of this road the ground will be ahead of you to the right.
How to get a ticket for the Impact Arena
The record attendance at the Impact Arena is just over 5,000 in 1960 for a local derby versus Matlock Town. In recent years when the capacity has been reduced to 3,600 the average attendance has rarely got over the thousand barrier. Almost every game (the exceptions are FA Cup ties) are pay on the gate and entry costs £10 for Adults and £5 for Concessions. You can move freely between terraces to seats unless there is segregation in place.
