Organised Crime – I’ve had harder walnuts – West Ham’s European Adventure

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So for only the second time in 26 years West Ham made it into Europe – whilst I enjoyed the travels in the Intertoto Cup in 2000 to such places as Jokerit in Finland and Heereveen in Holland it wasn’t quite the same as a UEFA Cup run. The way that the competition is set up now, the draw in August is almost as important as the Final itself….West Ham were an unseeded team and so prior to the main draw, they could have been paired with Osasuna (Spain), Palermo (Italy), Feyenoord (Netherlands) or Steaua Bucherest (Romania)…All on paper appeared tough either on the pitch or off the pitch – although I suspect the nightmare tie would have been against the Dutch….When the draw was eventually made the Italians were drawn away to West Ham – sighs of relief all round were quickly replaced with furious logging onto the internet to get a seat on the only cheap flight to the city from London, offered by Ryanair. In fact the flight prices went from a manageable £14.99 each way to £149.99 each way within 5 minutes of the draw being made.

As I was away enjoying the comforts of the Alton Towers Hotel, I was for once slow of the mark in arranging travel – no problems I reasoned – no point in thinking about this until I had a ticket for the away leg. After all, pick up a guide book and flip to Palermo and the most common text simply says “Why?”….Described by one book as dirty, cramped, crime ridden, morally and financially bankrupt – it sounded a wonderful place to visit in late September.

So West Ham being West Ham did not miss an opportunity to fleece the fans. No match tickets would be sold via the club unless you were booked on a Thomas Cook package – a two finger salute to those fans who had gambled on Ryanair….That’s OK – even at £300 for a return flight, and a £100 for a hotel would make it a nice couple of days away….WRONG! West Ham had managed to secure some exclusive bedrooms in a hotel at a bargain price of £799 PER PERSON for a 1 night trip – oh of course it did include a match ticket….Unbelievable….A day or so later they released package number two – a 4 Star instead of a 5 star option at £699 PER PERSON! Take up must have been swift because the day trips then hit the market – a bargain of £279 for a 5am departure but it was the only way to get a ticket….We needn’t have bothered – but more of that later.

So Thomas Cook took their revenue collection for the year from me over the £1,000 mark and I made my way to Gatwick for a 3am check in blissfully unaware of the near riots that had occurred overnight in Palermo between the West Ham fans and the local police. Apparently the locals had been offended by West Ham’s “funny” idea of producing Mafia-mocking T-shirts at the home leg a couple of weeks before….Still, it was evident from a number of sources prior to the game that many of the so-called “names” from the past would have been coming out of retirement for one last “horaah”….

So what did we get at 3am for our £279??? A “freshly prepared breakfast” – hmm looked like Gate Gourmet all the way to me, that or did I mistake the Chefs for air stewardesses? A limited edition badge – sold on Ebay for £1.99 and that was it…Value for money my arse! The plan for the day was a 45 minute transfer into the city centre, a few hours sight seeing before being bussed to the stadium 3 hours before kick off “Just to be on the safe side” quote Thomas Cook.

The city itself was quite interesting – certainly no one here has heard of B & Q but it did have a rustic charm. All was quiet after the previous night’s antics, and a general wander around the city saw some nervous police and a few groups of Hammers drinking in bars. We opted to get an overview of the city with a Open top bus tour – It was amazing how they could make it last an hour – after all there was literally nothing to see – I cannot understand how they think the railway station can be classed as a tourist site.

Lunch was obviously the focal point of the afternoon – a quiet side street spot was found with a few friendly hammers who regaled us on the events of the night before. All handbags by the sounds of things but still enough for the young lads who could at least pretend and dine out on the fact that they “stood firm with the ICF against the Mafia” in years to come. Lunch was chaotic – the bar ran out of beer and had to go to the local supermarket to get some more – unfortunately the bar owner could not carry anymore so he had to enlist the help of the West Ham fans to carry it, and then charged them a 200% mark up to drink it! A nice afternoon snooze was in order – and what better way than to board the tour bus again for a lap of the city – after all it was free!

We met up with our buses in the main square at 6pm – 3 1/2 hours before kick off. Despite the stadium being a 3 mile hike out of town, the police took our coaches on what could only be described as a “nature ramble”, up hills, down mountain paths in and out of country parks until we reached the stadium – which with 3 hours before kick off was in complete darkness.

Somebody had to go and wake the groundsman up to open the gates, and we started the slow process of entering the stadium – but not before the police had had a good grope of all of the ladies instead of a security check. We were then herded into a cage that ran the whole length of the main stand, driven onwards by the police in complete darkness, and with water slopping over our feet. At the far end we entered the stadium – toilets – 1, food & drink – ice creams only!.

West Ham had been given a corner of the stadium – hemmed in by thick glass on two sided, and a caged roof on the lower tier. With hours still to go before kick off we did the only thing we could – sing! The players came out to warm up and were greeted with great relief that the kick off was approaching. At regular intervals fans were seen being led out of the home end, and into the walked around the pitch to the away end – some took the opportunity to run onto the pitch – although the Italian police were obviously very happy with this.

So the game kicked off. 1-0 down from the 1st leg, West Ham battered the Italian’s goal, but fell behind to a fluky deflected shot…The team then crumbled and a 3-0 defeat on the night is all we can say to sum up the evenings events. Now, as any seasoned traveler abroad will know, the local police like to have the last laugh by keeping fans in the stadium “for safety” reasons…Now there is safety reasons and safety reasons….Why they thought 90 minutes would be a reasonable time to keep us tired fans in the stadium is unknown, but when they eventually opened the gates, we were again herded into the cage and out of the stadium.

So our tale is nearly done – only a final mention of the most fantastic organisational skills at the airport….Thomas Cook had issued us with our return boarding passes. Unfortunately with 6 planes due to leave at the same time the Italians got confused with boarding cards issued for the same flight – and so they refused all 1,000 plus fans and sent them all back to check in, where two helpful airport workers tried to dish out new cards….Thomas Cook lost the plot – “just get on any plane – they all go to the same place!” was the classic final quote of the evening, although our “freshly” prepared food on the plane was in fact the same as it was on the way out due to an “oversight”…hmmmm

The Stadium – Stadio Renzo Barbera
Viale del Fante 11

Capacity: 36,980 (All seater)

The Stadium has one covered stand, with three uncovered areas framed by the huge hills behind the stadium. The stands are two tiered, with both end stands curving away from the pitch. The Curve Nord is where you’ll see the flares and the choreographed Tifosi (Italian for hardcore fans). West Ham will be allocated 2,000 in the Curve Sud, undoubtably surrounded significantly by the Carbonari.

How to get to the Stadio Renzo Barbera
The stadium is located around 5km north of the city centre, close to the A29 Autostrada in the San Lorenzo area. To get to the stadium from the Stazione Centrale, catch bus number 101 or 107. The nearest suburban station is the Imperatore Federico Stadio which is on the road of the same name just south of the stadium.

How to get a ticket for the Stadio Renzo Barbera
Tickets can be bought online around 2 weeks before the games at http://www.ticketone.it. Tickets range in price from €27.50 for a Curva Sud ticket to €72 for a top of the range Tribuna Laterale ticket. Tickets can also be bought from a number of Snai outlets in Palermo. For the majority of matches this season, tickets will not be on sale on the day of the game.

How to get to Palermo
The Falcone Borsellino airport is located around 30km to the west of the city centre. Buses run every 30 minutes or so from outside the arrivals hall through the centre of town and terminating at the central station for €4.65 one way. Buses run from 06.30am.

A taxi should cost no more than €40 – it may be best to agree the fare before you commence the journey. There is an English-speaking Tourist office at the airport that may be able to help with finding accomodation, as well as a cashpoint and money exchange bureaux.

There is also one other international airport in Sicily, on the east side of the island in Catania. This airport is served daily by British Airways from London Gatwick. BA have flights available from £46 including taxes on the 27th September. To get to Palermo from Catania, catch a regular bus to the central station and then one of the bi-hourly trains to Palermo – the journey takes close to 3 hours.

How to get around Palermo
Palermo has a good system of buses which run in all directions. A flat-fare ticket is €1.35 or an all-day ticket is €3.35 – tickets are available at kiosks at the Central Station and Piazza Verdi.

About Palermo
Palermo is one of the toughest cities in Italy. It is no surprise to understand that this was the birthplace of the Mafia, and where many people say that crime is out of control. However, that shouldn’t deter any visitors – with sensible precautions that you would apply in any big city back in England you will steer clear of any problems. Palermo has been described as an up-market Naples, and its citizens are known for their raw energy and outspoken views. Areas to avoid include La Kalsa (the Historic quarter) after dark as its maze of alleyways are not the most inviting places to wander, the Central Station and the Bus Station.

It is hard to believe that Palermo was once one of the greatest cities in Europe, but in the times of the Norman invaders it was. The city , shaped by the backdrop of Monte Pellegrino and the crystal blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea was home to invaders and visitors throughout the middle ages, each of whom left their unique mark on the city. Unfortunately this mark wasn’t always welcome – in 1943 the incessant bombing of the city by the Allies almost reduced it to rubble. The city was further damaged in 1963 by an earthquake that put pay to a lot of the rebuilding efforts of the city’s council.

Today the city wrestles with a different problem – one with a bad reputation. Sicily after all was the home of the Mafia. The underworld organisation are still active today, although there is little evidence of them on a day to day basis. One of the reasons for this has been the excellent work the local authorities – led until 2001 by Mayor Orlando in cleaning up the corruption in public office. At the height of their fame, the Mafia were linked with a number of very public assassinations in Palermo including two of the prosecuting judges in the Mafia trials. For the film buffs amongst you, the final scenes of the Godfather III were filmed at the Teatro Massimo.

One issue that Orlando, or any of his predecessors have been able to solve is that of petty crime. In some areas of the city this is a real problem, and it is advisable to take sensible precautions in the city – namely don’t flash the cash or goods (mobiles, IPods, Cameras, etc), don’t walk alone down unlit alleys at night and avoid the areas you would do at home (train station and parks after dark). If you are confronted just give them what they want – it is far easier spending a few hours reporting some stolen goods to the police than spending hours in a Italian hospital.

However, the citizens of Palermo take great pride in the city not only being the capital of Sicily but also being their home. Whilst they may appear to be constantly in a hurry, driving at breakneck speeds sown impossibly narrow streets, they also play hard too.

For us culturally aware football fans, Palermo offers an abundance of Churches and galleries to visit whilst we are there. The jewel in the crown of the city is the Cathedral, in Via Vittorio Emanuele which dates back to the 12th century. Other notable buildings that can be visited include the Royal Place, now home to the seat of Government in Sicily and Piazzo Marina which borders the water’s edge.

Where to Stay in Palermo
If you need to look for a hotel, then the following still have rooms available for the 28th September. Alternatively you can try the Tourist office in Piazza Catelnuevo 34 – http://www.palermotourism.com.

Hotel Cavour – Via A Manzoni 11 (5th floor). Email – giopintos@libero.it
Hotel Moderno – Via Roma 276
Hotel Orientale – Via Maqueda 26 – http://www.albergoorientale.191.it
Hotel Joli – Via Michele Amari 11 – http://www.hoteljoli.com
Hotel Sausele – Via Errante 12 – http://www.hotelsausele.it
Hotel Posta – Via Gagni 77 – http://www.hotelpostapalmero.it
Hotel Centrale Palace – Corso Vittorio Emanuele 327 – http://www.centralepalacehotel.it

Drinking and Eating
Most of the nightlife can be found around Viale della Liberta and Via Principe di Belmonte. Bear in mind though that Italian nighttime culture is very different to our culture. Italians think of nothing better than to cruise in their cars or walk along the streets, stopping occasionally to drink Coffee or eating Ice Cream. beer drinking as we know it is not a major practice. If you are desperately in need of a Guinness and a bit of Irish culture then head for Murphy’s in Via Sciuti.

The

Excuse me – what time does the football start ?

So a day in Tallinn to watch their Premier League football was long overdue. Tallinn is one of those cities where a number of clubs ground share and so it is always possible to see at least a couple of matches in a weekend. Now, being a resourceful chap I thought I would do a bit of background reading on Estonian Football. Now I’ve seen some low attendances before – such as 180 for a Coppa Italia at the Stadio delle Alpi for a game between the mighty Juventus and Bologna, and 300 for a Simod cup game between Brighton and Lincoln, but Estonian football is really in need of a boost from somewhere. In 2003 brewers Le Coq allocated £10m to built a brand spanking new National Stadium in the south of town. Estonia’s biggest club Flora Tallinn were asked to move in and have since called the stadium home. That’s the positive part. The negative part is that the team regularly play in front of crowds less than 3 figures – i.e crowds that you could do a roll call for whilst the team do their meet and greet! a-near-capacity-crowd-of-40-watch-fc-flora-win-six-nil.jpg

Anyway, I digress. Tallinn is one of the newer cities on the Budget airline circuit and so the route is always packed. It is also a favourite for the British Stag and Hen do’s as the flights are cheap, hotels are cheap, beer is cheap and the women are – well I’ll let you find out for yourself. One other interesting aspect is that Estonians don’t seem to get out much as Easyjet have more issues with drunkeness on these flights than any other route – and get this – the worst offenders are the Estonians on the outbound flight from Stansted at 6.50am! So armed with my small guide book, a handful of phrases and some stout walking shoes I headed off to Tallinn on a windy September Sunday. The first thing that strikes you when you land in Tallinn is that everything looks green – the scenery, the buildings and the people…A short bus ride into town dropped me outside one of the dozens of casino/bars that are dotted around the city. The short walk into the old town was a pleasant amble – and none of the British pissed parties in sight, although the bars and cafes were in full flow with locals putting back a few Le Coq’s at such as early hour.

The Old town is very picturesque but very small – a ten minute walk is all that is required to transverse the town, and so after checking into the immaculate Dominicq Marine Hotel I was back in the old town square within half an hour. Now if anywhere in the world is made for England Fans it is the old town main square in Tallinn. Four terrace bars, with outside seating on the square, a massive curry house, a stage area and of course a lap dancing bar. When England come here in June 2007 I doubt if 90% will venture further than this spot….In the glorious September sunshine it was too tempting just say “sod it” to the sightseeing, and “hello” to a couple of cold beers. In fact two turned into four and I was on the verge of breaking a tradition of boycotting the plan to see three games that afternoon and instead watching the delights of Bolton v Everton/Wigan/Middlesbrough (Delete as applicable from this list of dire games)….However, a concidence call came in the form of the current Mrs Fuller who asked me what the football ground was like – Football ground – Doh! there was a reason why I was here!

So I set out on foot down the Parnumnt, the main road out of Town to the south for about 15 minutes before heading across – following the railway line and what looked like an underpass on my map. Now Estonians must be more responsible than us Brits as they decided that the railway lines don’t need any fences or barriers – who would obviously be tempted to walk across the tracks when there is a bridge or underpass 1/2 mile away? Anyway, I decided not to be a “fool” and went and found the underpass….It was in fact a tunnel for dwarves. Less than 5 foot high, and 2 foot wide I would love to see what chaos reigns when England Fans try and sneak through in the summer. The path brought me out right in front of the maginificent Le Coq Arena (named after the Estonian beer and not the crap UK sportswear company that is only sold in JJB Sports). And, lo and behold the car park was packed…..with learner drivers on lessons! 5 minutes to kick off and there was not a soul in sight….I must have somehow got it wrong and put my watch back too far? But then I spotted the ticket office – or actually a ticket table. For the princely sum of £3 I got a ticket for anywhere in the group and a full colour programme. My ticket number was 29 – surely not the 29th person to buy a ticket ??? The ground was impressive – new, shiny green seats everywhere – and how could I tell – because there was only 28 others watching!!!!

So Flora v Ajax isn’t a big enough pull in Estonian football teams – but hey ho I could drink beer (more expensive than admission by the way!) and it was sunny enough. 10 minutes into the game and Flora were 3-0 up – all the goals coming from corners. The hardcore Flora fans (1 drummer, 1 Trumpeter and a dog) sat on their own in the stand behind the goal and cheered as if they had won the cup final. Apart from the occasional good looking young lady wandering past – and that would be quite off putting for the players as well – the game passed in a blur (OK – I went to sleep!). I woke with a start as the ball hit a seat the row in front and all 50-odd (obviously people had taken advantage of the cheap 2nd half admission turnstile) laughed at my misfortune of yelping in surprise. Apparently it was 5-0 at this stage and a chant went up of “we want 6″ from the hardcore fans who were obviously getting lonely and wanted some company. I decided against my normal tactic abroad of heading off a minute or so before the end to avoid the congestion and when the final whistle blew, both teams came over to shake us all by the hand. So one game down, one to go.

The second stadium, the Kalevi Keskstaadion is home to Estonia’s number one team at the moment TVMK Tallinn as well as new arrivals on the scene Tallinna Kalev. It is also the biggest stadium in Estonia at 12,000. I had found out that Tallinna averaged a mighty 24 for their past few games and so I didn’t worry about not trying to buy my ticket online before hand. The 20 minute walk eastwards through the suburbs was made all the more pleasant by passing (four or five times based on my newly designed route) a brothel where the girls sat outside enjoying the sun, and awaiting their next customer. What a choice – the company of 5 of Estonia’s best looking girls or a football match with 20 odd other fans. With the current Mrs Fuller’s warning ringing in my ears that I had to get some pictures of the stadiums for my book I trudged on at found the stadium (turn right at the Renault showroom, then left past the Megane’s) into the stadium. It was a huge bowl of an Atheltics track, with the two banks lined with wooden bench seats. As some pre-match entertainment, some people were throwing javelins on the pitch. At 3.55pm, the crowd had reached at least 40 when the clapping started as the teams emerged. They looked a bit short of numbers as there was only 8, and they were mixed gender…..Off came the tracksuits and down they squatted on their athletics blocks……My so-thought Football match was in fact an Athletics meeting. The Tallinna Kalev game had in fact been moved to the Kardrioru Stadium about a mile away due to the expected crowd of over 50 for this meeting. So I could have given up and just found a bar (or even gone back to see if the ladies were still outside feeling lonely – they said it not me!) but I was on a mission.

Off I marched, across main roads, roundabouts and traversing a motorway to reach the woods around the Kadrioru stadium. The game had just got underway and I paid my £1 for a seat “anywhere in the woods” as I was told by the gate man. The Kadrioru is a single stand Athletics track – about the same as the one in Hesketh Park Dartford for those in the know. Now one of the issues of coming into an empty stadium (even the players stopped and stared at me when I came in) is that you don’t know which side is which…Who am I supposed to support ? What happens if one team score and I cheer and its the away team ?? Being an Athletics ground, the ball spent most of the time a long way from the pitch with ball boys (obviously their equivalant of borstal) chasing after the balls from another John Jensen-esque shot. The crowd were obviously all related to players as they spent most of these gaps in play talking to their loved ones on the pitch. I left the ground after a 1-1 draw still unsure who was who, but save in the knowledge that a professional footballer in Estonia is about as glamorous as a worker in the DHSS in England. The long walk back into town was sustained with the thought of finding a quiet bar to watch some football from Spain or Italy. After the 20 minute walk I found them at last – bare chested, tattooed and in full voice singing “If it wasn’t for the British you’d be Commies” – classic Brits abroad. I decided to give the old town a pass and head back to the confines of my hotel for a traditional Estonian night – a sauna and a skinful of vodka.

As a postscript the following morning, my flight was delayed by over an hour as an Estonian woman got pissed on the outbound flight and the captain had to threaten to divert to Copenhagen to have her arrested – nice!

The Facts

The Stadium – The Le Coq Arena Asula 4c, Tallinn

Capacity: 9,300 All Seater

Fans of Scunthorpe United, Walsall and AFC Bournemouth will feel really at home in the new Le Coq Arena in Tallinn. Just to underline the importance of football to the Estonian’s it was felt that such as small stadium was more than adequate for the national team’s purposes. FC Flora Tallinn who play their home games here struggle to get crowds over 1,000 and so the arrival of McClaren and the rest of the England team will see the first time the stadium has been stretched to capacity. The stadium is an excellent venue to watch football on a long summer’s night, as it will be when England play Estonia in June 2007. The sight lines and leg room are excellent, each stand has a large bar and refreshments area and the roof offers protection from the occasional Estonian rain shower. The two side stands are identical – resplendent in their green seats. Both are two tier with the lower tier much larger than the upper one. The concertina-style roof is also unusual as it sits quite away above the final row of seats. The end stands are set above the action on the pitch by 8 feet, which may allow an additional 1,000 seats to be installed in the stadium when the England game is played next year. The hardcore Estonian fans, if you can call them that, will be located in the lower tier of the south stand.

How to get to the Le Coq Arena
The stadium is located in the southwest of the city, just outside the main ring road. On a nice sunny day the stadium is easily walk able from the city centre in around 30 minutes. The new stadium is located next to the main railway line, which causes a small logistical problem. You have two options for reaching the stadium by foot. The shortest way is to head south along the Parnu Mnt main road until you reach the elevated bridge over the railway line. At this point, head down the steps on either side of the road and turn right into the residential road. Follow this for approx 500 yards and then you will see a tunnel (see left) that is more a kin to something you will find in Lord of the Rings. Despite being dark, dank and only 4ft high, this magical tunnel opens up on the far side to the away end car park of the magnificent Le Coq Arena, yards from the turnstiles. The other option is to carry on over the bridge across the railway and turn right into the access road which takes you to the stadium – which is a 5-10 minute walk longer. Tram number 3 runs down Parnu Mnt from the town to the stadium entrance road every 20 minutes, and takes less than 10 minutes. A taxi should cost less than £5.

How to get a ticket for the Le Coq Arena
Assuming you are in town for a league match, then simply head down to the stadium on a match day and buy a ticket from the table on the corner of the south east stand. For a mere 30EEK you will get a ticket for the main stand and a programme. If you want to sit with the dozen or so hardcore fans in the south stand then a ticket costs 5EEK less.

Around the Le Coq Arena
The brand new stadium sits on an old area of wasteland to the south of the city centre, and has very little around it. As the city centre offers so much in terms of hospitality it is much better to stick here until 30 mins before kick off before heading down.

The Stadium – The Kadrioru Stadium
Capacity: 4,700 All Seater

The Kadrioru is home to both TVMK and the current stars of Estonian football, Levadia. It is a very basic ground set in some nice parkland on the east side of the city. It is primarily an athletics track with one main covered stand offering basic facilities. On the other side of the pitch is a 4 row temporary stand that runs from corner to corner but is uncovered. Based on the normally chilly weather in Tallinn it may be worth avoiding this stand. Behind the south stand there are a number of benches where in the summer you can sit and watch the game from.

How to get to the Kadrioru Stadium
The stadium is located a ten minute walk outside of the old town. Follow the main road Gonsiori east out of the city until you reach the junction with Laagna Tee. The stadium is on the left behind the trees.

How to get a ticket for the Kadrioru Stadium
With average crowds in Estonian football in the hundreds, tickets are never sold in advance. Instead buy a ticket and a programme from the windows at the one and only gate open in the east corner of the stadium. Entry is 3EEK and you can sit anywhere in the stadium.

Around The Kadrioru Stadium
The Kadrioru is located in parkland to the east of the city. It is so basic that it doesn’t have any refreshment facilities within the ground. There are no options for food or drink within a five minute walk of the stadium so its best to stick to the city centre.

How to get to Tallinn
Estonia is one of the former Soviet States that has opened up its borders to the west and welcomes tourists with open arms. Unfortunately, the mix of excellent cheap beer, budget airline flights, stunning women and good nightlife attracts stag groups by the plane load every weekend.

Tallinn Ůlemsite Airport (Airport Code TLL)
Telephone: +372 6 05 88 88
Website: http://www.tallinn-airport.ee
Located on the shores of Lake Ůlemiste, and just 4km from the city centre, Tallinn Airport continues to grow as more airlines start opening routes to Estonia. The airport is very small with one terminal, a small café and a couple of shops. The airport is served by Easyjet from Lndon Stansted, and Estonian Air from London Gatwick. To reach the city centre catch bus number 2 that leaves from outside the terminal building. A single fare costs 15EEK and travels to the Downtown bus terminal outside the Kaubamaja department store. The journey takes around 15 minutes. You can also reach Tallinn from Helsinki via Helicopter or Fast Ferry. The journey is run by http://www.copterline.com and takes around 15 minutes although it is not cheap. The Ferry is run by Tallink (http://www.tallink.fi) and costs €49 return for the 100 minute journey.

Where to Stay in Tallinn
Tallinn is often over-run with tourists at the weekends, but ha plenty of hotel beds to go round. Accommodation is not expensive but it is wise to book in advance if you are budget conscious. The Tourist office on the corner of the main square can help you find a room if you are in need.

Barons – Suur-Karja 7 (Tel: +372 699 9700) http://www.baronshotel.ee The Barons is located right in the heart of the old town, a 2 minute walk from the main square. The hotel has an excellent Restaurant and all rooms have free WiFi. Double rooms start from £95 including breakfast at the weekend.

Radisson SAS – Ravala Street 3 (Tel: +372 682 3 000) http://www.radissonsas.com The Radisson SAS hotel is the tallest building in the city with 24 floors. The hotel has 280 rooms, a fitness centre with swimming pool and of course a sauna. Lounge 24 is the rooftop bar offering the best view in town. All rooms have free broadband and Satellite TV for all guests. Rooms start from just €105 for a double room at the weekend.

Dominia Ilmarine Hotel – Pohja pst 23 (Tel: +372 614 0901) http://www.dominahotels.com The Ilmarina is located close to the ferry terminal, and a 10 minute walk to the old town square. The building dates back to 1881, and has been remodelled to include a new wing with some excellent spa facilities. The restaurant offers international dishes as well as some local ones if you want to experiment. The hotel has 150 rooms, including 46 split-level suites. Weekend double rooms start from €75.

So where the bloody hell is Macedonia anyway?

When the draw was made for UEFA 2008, there was a collective sigh from England Fans when the name Macedonia came out. After all it was less than 3 years previous that the two teams had last met in Skopje (I am sure that TinTin once rescued King Ottaker’s Sceptre from here, or something) in a game that was infamous for the fact that the FA refused an allocation of tickets, fearing for the safety of their fans. This time around it was different – in fact drawn in a qualifying group with Russia (gun crazy), Israel (Still at war with at least half a dozen neighbouring states), Croatia (always going to be volatile) and Estonia (Stag do heaven), Macedonia looked a positive walk in the park for the fans.

And so this was one trip I had to do. Unfortunately not one single airline flew direct to Skopje from the UK. Fans soon found ways to reach the country – by taxi from Sofia in Bulgaria, train from Saloniki in Greece, rickshaw from Llubljana in Slovenia, or paragliding from Albania all seemed viable options instead of the day trip from Thomas Cook.

Ask a 100 people in the street where Macedonia is, and I guarantee you that less than 5 will know where it is. It is one of those unusual landlocked countries – not bad considering how close the Black and Mediterranean Sea actually are. It is also almost unique in Europe in being surrounded by four countries – Serbia to the North, Bulgaria to the East, Greece to the South and Albania to the West. The country gained its independence in 1991 after ceding from Yugoslavia. The country has a population of just over 2million, with a quarter living in the capital Skopje.

What made this trip even more appealing was the offer of a game of football against the Macedonian fans. Now as a team we are pretty well organised – I mean I bet Sir Alex doesn’t conduct training via email – but that’s what we did. In fact, faced with a team selection issue (i.e I did not know one single player), I opted for the approach, taken by many a new foreign manager when they arrive in the UK – pick the players whose names should like footballers. And so as I sat on the plane on the way to Skopje I filled my team with 5 Paul’s, a Rob, a Bob, a Mark, a Jamie and a Tim – after all as the player manager I thought that by shouting Paul I would get it right 50% of the time!

It was with some trepidation that we landed in the tiny airport in Skopje. Some of the people on the plane had actually been at the game played 3 years to the day when England had won 2-1, buying tickets for peanuts from locals. Our ever cautious official guide published by the FA mentioned that the locals hadn’t yet got round to giving up their guns after the Yugoslavian Civil Wars and to be on our guard. Even Lonely Planet said it was one place in the world where gypsies would pester you to death. Sounded great!

As we drove towards the city centre in our convoy of coaches, with police outriders no less, we passed through the shanty town of gypsies – only to see them being bulldozed – “We are making way for the new American Embassy” said our guide “This hill has the best spot in the city”…Asked where the gypsies were being housed he quipped “Albania, although neither party knows that yet!”……The coaches parked across the river from the smart stadium, and the long line of fans headed into the city, and for my team the meeting point in the bar of the Holiday Inn….What we encountered in the city was an eye opener…expecting poverty and war torn buildings we found cafes and bars that would not look out of place in some of the smartest resorts in the Med, and the locals certainly did not look as if they were struggling after the war for independence.

Anyway in the bar I saw Garth Crooks, Glenn Hoddle and Andy Gray – alas none of which were available for selection for the team. We then found out that perhaps we had talked up our importance a little too much – the games were being shown on live local TV at a 1st division ground! In fact posters had been professionally produced and posted around town advertising our game…..A police escort took us to the small stadium (think Rymans League and not Championship League) where a small crowd had gathered. My pre match talk over we lined up for the national anthems and sang our heart out much to the amusement of the gathering local crowds.

To say we had a footballing lesson is a bit of an understatement. At 5-1 I brought myself on for the final 10 minutes to shore up the defence – by this stage I had been routinely humiliated on a sweltering hot day in the dugout by the local fans who kept shouting Arsene Wegner everytime I shouted instructions to the team – I tried to think of a famous Macedonian to retort back with and could only think of Alexander the Great! Anyway, the British Ambassador turned up for some backslapping, and a few drinks in the bar and some feeble attempts by the Macedonians to convince us to swap shirts (they tried to say their 1980′s nylon shirts were official Macedonian ones!).

And so back to the city centre for the game. We were given a list of things we couldn’t take into the stadium, but fortunately shin pads were not on that list – although many fans had cigarettes removed (although at the end of the game the police set up long tables where they could be re-united with their owners like a strange boot sale). For once we were housed in along the side of the stadium – opposite one of the biggest stands in the region – the stadium itself held 15,000, with over 10,000 in the one curved shaped stand. The England fans were housed in a shallow open air stand opposite which posed a real problem for the flag bearers who had nowhere to place their flag.

As for the game, England huffed and puffed, going into the half time break all square. In fact the Macedonians had the upper hand in the first half, and many fans were reminded of the amazing 2-2 draw they got the last time they played England at St Mary’s in 2003. A few minutes into the second half, plan B worked with Peter Crouch grabbing a goal despite calls from the home team that the ball had not crossed the line.

So a 1-0 win was not convincing, and hopefully not a sign of things to come in later qualifying. We had been instructed on getting back on the coaches as soon as the game ended – which we managed within 30 minutes. But we had not been prepared for the route we took back to the airport – the direct 15 minute route back to the airport took 35 minutes before we were pulled over by the side of the road, only to see a bigger police escort pass with the team coach – of course they did not want to see their fans!

So 12 coaches arrived en mass at the airport, 1,800 fans simply dumped on the roadside and left to fight their way through 2 passport guards and the usual security checks to try and board one of the 6 flights leaving for the UK – another great piece of organisation from Thomas Cook……So another stamp in the passport, another country under my belt and now I know where Macedonia is, although the chances of me returning are about the same as the gypsies being invited to tea by the US Ambassador.

The National Stadium – The City Stadium
Home to FK Rabotnicki and FK Vardar as well as the national team, the city stadium currently holds just over 18,100. The stadium was full the last time England played here – actually 3 years to the day of this year’s qualifier. England won that game 2-1 with goals from Rooney and Beckham although officially no England fans were present as the FA decided not to take up an allocation due to the political situation in the country at that time. This time around the stadium will undoubtedly be full of England fans as our allocation should be around 3,500.
The stadium is dominated by the very steep main stand that has over 12,000 seats. This stand offers protection from the elements, although the wind blowing across the river can be a bit biting during cold nights. The remaining three stands are open and consist of 8-10 rows of plastic bolted direct to the old terraces. There is a small perimeter fence around the pitch as well as a 6-lane running track. Views are ok from most stands, although from the first few rows it is not the best. The seats at the back of the stand are also quite steep and so if you do have a ticket for this area then try not to drink too much before the game in order to prevent a nasty fall on the way up.

How to get to the Stadium
The stadium is located slightly north west of the city centre, close to the River Vardar and in the City Park area. The area close by the stadium is certainly where all of the action is, with the major nightclubs (Colosseum, Cabrio and Havana) located across the road from the ground, as well as the Zoo and Natural History Museum being within a 2 minute walk. From the North of the Vadar, and in the region of the Swan English Pub head north up Stiv Naumov away from the river and then turn left onto BD Goce Delčev. Follow this past the Kale and across the river, where you can then turn right onto the riverside path to the stadium. The walk should take 15 minutes at the most.

If you are south of the river, in the region of the Holiday Inn, Irish Pub or the main square then just simply follow the river westwards, past the Stone bridge and you will reach the ground in about 10 minutes. Allow an extra 15 minutes if you are coming from the main station (follow BD Jane Sandanski towards the river where you will see the riverside walk)

Tickets
Whilst England have been allocated a fair allocation this time in Skopje of 2,700 seats, demand for this match was high and over 6,000 registered an interest in a ticket. A fair number of fans who did not get a ticket via official means will still travel and hope to pick up a ticket from the locals on the day of the game. When they last played here two years ago, hundreds of England fans ignored the official request not to travel and managed to pick up tickets from locals who were only too pleased to sell them their allocation for less than £10. There is no guarantee that the same situation will exist this time – However, it should be possible to pick up some tickets on the day of the game – although the going rate will undoubtedly be significantly higher than £10. Touts will be found around the station, close to the Irish Bar as well as around the stadium in the run up to the match.

How to Get to Skopje
Skopje is one of the hardest capital cities in Europe to reach from the UK. There are no direct flights – even BA don’t serve this outpost, whilst the country as a whole only has 922km of railways, which basically stretch out southwards from the capital down to Thessalonkia and Tetovo, and a small link which used to go into Serbia which is yet to re-open. Whilst other major cities are close enough to act as transit locations, the onward travel element into Macedonia is more often than not the logistical nightmare.

Flying to Macedonia
Macedonia has two International airports – Skopje and Ohrid. The former has around 10 international flights landing per day, with the latter currently having just one daily flight from Belgrade.

SkopjeSkopje International Airport (Airport code SKP) is located around 8km southwest of the city centre. It was relatively unaffected by the 1963 earthquake, which allowed the airport to be used as a base for humanitarian aid. In 1987 a new terminal was opened allowing an expansion of the services offered daily to the capital. There are currently no flights direct from the UK.